Conservatives have come to love the White House Press Corps’ Helen Thomas ever since she was inducted into “The Crazy Aunts in the Attic Society.” On July 28th, 2005, she was awarded membership in the infamous organization after her interview appearing in “The Hill,” a newspaper for and about the U.S. Congress. Helen Thomas told the newspaper that she would promptly kill herself if Vice President Dick Cheney were to ever even run for the office of President. Although some Americans have threatened to leave for Canada or Europe at the elections of certain political figures, never before in American history has anyone been so politically passionate as to kill one’s self because of an unelected candidate. Ms. Thomas revealed herself to “The Hill News” promising: “The day I say Dick Cheney is going to run for president, I’ll kill myself. All we need is one more liar.” Needless to say, many conservatives responded “why wait until then?” However, everyone knew that those partisans were merely concerned with the speculation that Mr. Cheney will never be a candidate.
It was about this point in time that the White House removed the “so-called” reporter, Helen Thomas, to the back row of the press briefing room and no longer called upon her for questions. It was believed that move was a consequence of the veteran journalist’s constant criticism of President Bush, such as calling him a “Texas cowboy”. That “Texas cowboy” phrase should have given her away, as everyone knows that you don’t mess with Texas and live to tell any tales. Even though journalists know that Americans love and admire cowboys, most of the MSM swallowed hook, line and sinker, the bait of evil genius Karl Rove. Few realized that Helen Thomas was in fact working hand in glove with Mr. Rove and President Bush in exchange for the privilege of living in the White House attic, rent-free, with all the honorifics accruing to such a prestigious address. Helen Thomas, in recognition of her White House Attic residency status, was awarded the title of “Grand Auntie Kleagle” by the “National Crazy Aunts in the Attic Society”.
Grand Auntie Kleagle Helen Thomas was able to reward her beloved President George W. Bush and evil genius Karl Rove, when on 21 March 2006, she took the President’s lead when he called upon her, and demonstrated to the world the partisanship of almost the entire White House Press Corps, and the American MSM took the bait and revealed themselves as the jackasses they are - Democrats.
The image, Helen Thomas, is subject to copyright by tittletattle. It is posted here with permission via the Flickr API by barneykin.
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It was priceless listening to the Q&A session. The moment Bush picked her, my brain, such as it is, said “setup!”
Comment by William Teach — March 22, 2006 @ 4:56 pm
Exactly! Too easy.
Comment by Kerfuffles — March 22, 2006 @ 5:06 pm
And here I always thought that moving Helen to the back row was just a symbolic crazy-aunt-in-the-attic gesture.
My neighbor had bats in his attic who left quite a mess behind. I shudder to think what she has done under the eaves of the White House. If it’s as bad as what she’s done in the press room she could be fined for destruction of an historic landmark and given an orange vest and plastic garbage bag to do some community service along a busy road with no shoulders, preferably after dark.
Comment by flora mcdonald — March 25, 2006 @ 1:56 pm
UPDATE:
Crazy Aunts of the White House Society
Helen Thomas and Bill Clinton
Who’s Whiny and Crazy?
Comment by Kerfuffles — January 25, 2009 @ 9:50 am