With another July 4th upon us, and the war still raging, I journeyed out to the bat cave at Moonbat Holler to check up on Freeway Blogger to see if he was still in the anti-war business. He is, and he now has a Blogger blog, “Freeway Blogger.” Imagine! He must have been quite impressed with Kerfuffles’ Blogger blog, where she first wrote about him last year. Freeway Blogger is still up to his tinfoil hatted tricks, with a slight twist. He now is engaged with what he describes as the “Arsenal of Democracy” — ta, da: Guardrails! Who would have thunk it? As he explains:
Any time you can see the backs of guardrails from the freeway, that’s practically guaranteed to be a good spot for signposting. Generally all it takes is a few seconds and a couple of binder clips and you’re done. I posted the above “Rumsfailed” at night in Benecia, not even noticing the “War is a Lie” blog right next to it until I took this picture the next day. “The War is a Lie” had been up, right next to I-80, for over three months.
He posts the image above to demonstrate. As you can clearly see, the truck driver was so distracted by the anti-war placards illegally posted on public property, that he has lost control and is about to crash his truck head on into the guardrails. Lucky, for Freeway Blogger that he was long gone, as he works only in the darkness of night.
Message from the Freeway Blogger For a Fun-Filled 4th of July: “here are your Moonbatting Necessities.” This moonbatting site comes recommended by Denver criminal defense attorney Jeralyn Merritt, at her blog, TalkLeft: The Politics of Crime. Freeway Blogger illustrates all of the supplies you will need to celebrate the 4th of July 2006, in the image below. The Freeway Blogger (with Kerfuffles’ commentary in parens) advises readers that:
… a single sign (such as this one) put near a freeway can be seen by tens of thousands of motorists … and can be made in ten minutes at a cost of about five cents."Placement Strategies:" (Be a Dare-devil - if it is dangerous to put up, highway workers will be too damned scared to take it down!)
"Don’t limit yourself to overpasses: Anything you can see while driving is a place you can post a sign and it will be seen. Trees," (nails won’t hurt them … too much) "fencing, sign backs and infrastructure" (if it collapses, not to worry, just find a studier one to pound into), "everything is fair game." (Stop signs, whatever.) "The more difficult your sign is to get to, the longer it’ll stay up. With duct tape, bungee cords, hammer and nails, binder clips and spring clamps, you can attach a sign securely to just about anything within seconds." (The nails serve dual purposes as they can also be thrown in front of the cars that give you the middle finger salute.)
"Always approach a site from the backside, off the freeway (lest you be taken for the Duct Tape Strangler). Wear an orange safety vest and people will assume you’re a highway worker: at 60 mph people putting up signs look just like people taking them down." (This invaluable technique has already been proven by terrorists who have found much success in camouflaging themselves to be ordinary citizens.)
“Sign painting parties will be held across the country over the July 4th weekend with posting to begin on the 5th.” (You must have proof of valid medical insurance, as freeways can be dangerous places when on foot. Likewise, your bail-bonding agency must be notified that you may require its services.)
Comrades in the Freeway Blogger movement, following in the tradition of Karl Marx and Freidrich Engels, comply with the Freeway Blogger Manifesto.
You WILL follow these very simple (minded) steps:
1) Find Cardboard.
2) Paint it White. (Obviously only Behr paint will do.)
3) Paint your message. (If you know how to spell; otherwise, use internationally recognized symbols. Use the same white paint as in Step 2.)
4) Stick it Up - with duct tape and bungee cord: takes 10 seconds. (The bungee cord also is quite handy when falling off of bridges and freeway overpasses while blogging.)
Although I never have determined just out how the rabbits fit into Freeway Blogger’s "Summer of Truth" scheme, they are still with him as seen in this new photo. A person who likes bunny rabbits and takes such care of them that they don’t end up under the tires of 18 wheelers, or fall from freeway overpasses while helping their master to “freeway blog”, cannot be all bad, can he? But he can be a moonbat. What is a Moonbat, you ask?
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