If this were one of the Bush twins, undoubtedly she would be shackled in the MSM stocks for all the public to condemn.
Chelsea Clinton, daughter of the beautiful power couple, the Billary Clintons, has apparently discovered a miracle herbal medicine that melts away unwanted pounds faster than an ice cream cone on the fourth of July. However, instead of unselfishly sharing the miracle drug with her fellow countrywomen and United States pharmaceutical manufacturers, Miss Clinton is leaving it up to the Chinese government to patent it for the American marketplace. She, the progeny of Hillary Healthcare, guards as a Chinese national secret the one and only cure for America’s number one health malady, obesity.
According to state media (Reuters in BEIJING ) - “China is looking into claims of a herbal weight loss patch which its makers said helped former U.S. President Bill Clinton’s daughter, Chelsea, shed 12 kg (26.5 lb) in under a month.” It consists of a patch that one needs only plaster “to the area of the body where they want to lose weight and then just wait for the fat to flow out of them, the Beijing Morning Post said.”
The “Fat Patch” is sold under two names: “The Chelsea Clinton Patch” to appeal to liberals, and “America Seven-Point Thinness” to be purchased by fat fat-cat Republicans. Those Chinese communists can be cool cats too when it comes to capitalist marketing techniques. In only a few short months on the market, its deftly created “commercials helped propel sales to more than 200 million yuan ($26.32 million).”
Although advertisements claim that the top selling fat cure is made in the United States, it is actually made in the Chinese industrial city of Tianjin. The pharmaceutical manufacturer of the Chelsea Clinton Patch does not want its miracle product to be marred by the “Made in China” label, which has lately been associated with “substandard and fake food, drugs, toys and health products.”
A company spokesman added that Chinese health foods and tonics are extremely popular in America as they often contain special medical herbs which can cure baldness, impotence, and a lack of concentration, in addition to now curing obesity, and it would be quite tragic to have customers refrain from buying this new product for fear that the “Made in China” label means “Dangerous To Your Health”.
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