Kerfuffles

Reform “Spells” Big Changes for Britain

Prime Minister Gordon Brown supported the reform as did Labour, the Lib Dems and the Conservatives.

Britain’s parliament has voted to introduce contentious changes to their English language in order to spell hundreds of words the American way; thereby bringing their antiquated language into the modern era.

The agreement standardizes (not standardises) numerous spellings and adds three new letters - o, z and er - to the alphabet. A large majority of Britain’s lawmakers backed government proposals to phase in the changes during the next six years.

But a petition against the move was signed by 33,000 Britons and 100,000 Canadians who argue it is a capitulation to America’s already too powerful influence upon the English-speaking world. Proponents counter the move will make the English language more uniform globally, making such things as internet searches and legal documents easier to understand.

The agreement will standardize spelling by spelling “standardise” as it should be spelled (not spelt) - “standardize.” The new agreement will remove the stilted “ou” in order for words to be spelled (not spelt) more phonetically, turning, for example “Labour” (such as ‘The Labour Party’) into “Labor”. Henceforth, and forever more, the unpronounceable “re” at the ending of words will be transformed to “er”, as it should be. There are no “theatres” in American, only “theaters.”

Friday’s vote came after a unified form of the old English language was originally agreed with seven old English-speaking countries in 1991.

The official language of more than 300 million people worldwide, American is spoken in the United States of America, including all of its territories. In addition, American is not only the language of global business, it is the language of world-wide art, science, and literature. American is the second language for virtually all inhabitants of the globe who have a second language, including some Britons. Even the French, when forced to speak a second tongue, always choose American over English.

Prime Minister Gordon Brown and the British Parliament are expected to ratify the accord, with the blessing of the Queen, who has agreed, with the stipulation that “The Queen’s English” henceforth be awarded the status of a National Treasure.

With apologies from Kerfuffles to BBC News, and asking “Why can’t the British be more like the Portuguese?”

Michael Barone writes that all Europe has become divided into three parts. He writes in a blog essay entitled “What the Italian elections mean”, that there is Old Europe, New Europe and the Anglosphere.

Jacques Chirac’s leadership has once again doomed his countrymen, this time with his surrender on the employment law. France will have more stagnation, but they will be in good company with other Old Europeans such as Germany and Italy.

The off shore island nations of the United Kingdom and Ireland are still more Anglo-Saxon than European, much to the chagrin of the French.

Small countries like the Netherlands and Denmark and the former Communist countries of Poland, the Czech Republic, Slovakia, Slovenia and others have effective, intelligent governments and thus are considered “New Europe”.

New is new and old is old and never the Anglo Saxons shall be European.

As I surf the blogosphere, I often come upon comments by young people from Western nations who believe it is wrong for the West to have so much wealth, while in Africa people are dying of hunger and disease. They write that it is evil for the West to consume as much as we do, as if somehow our abundance is the cause of the misery of the undeveloped world. Of course, these young writers never seem to find the correlation between the two greatest causes of death in Africa, AIDS and politically motivated murders, and how it is that those killers are caused by the West. One young blogger wrote:

“Doesn’t it make you angry? I’m angry today about the state of the world, Ive seen some weird things recently, I’ve been and worked in a very poor country this year and coming back to the UK I’m alarmed at what I see. Massive consumption excessive, it’s disgusting people have so much more than they need, whilst people in Africa are dying of disease everyday, It makes me so sad and also so angry, how can we just let it be like this, how can we let the world be in such a mess.”

I couldn’t help responding - they need to be educated: No it does not make me angry. It makes me grateful for the legacy we received from our forebears. Our wealth comes from our liberal Western beliefs and ideas. Because we consume much has nothing to do with the cause of poverty and death in Africa. In fact, without our riches, which enable us to contribute to their relief, they would be much worse off. Everything that we consume helps someone economically. You say that you feel powerless to help. That is indeed sad, because there is much you could do. However, you will not help the less fortunate and miserable, by killing the goose that lays the golden eggs. So many wonderful ideas of economic freedom were taught by great thinkers of your own country, long ago. Study your history. The nations today that espouse the greatest economic liberalism are the same with the highest per capita incomes. There is a cure for the misery of these unfortunates, and to put it simply, its name is economic freedom. Go forth and teach Africa and other repressed peoples about the marvelous ideas of your own homeland and the Western world and explain to them, that they can become prosperous too. Do that if you truly want to help.

Or help feed and clothe one child in Africa:
Christian’s Children Fund
http://www.christianchildrensfund.org/

French is Not the “Lingua Franca”. English Is!

The French had their opportunity for greatness, but blew it. Instead of building on the original language of business, the ancient Lingua Franca, they destroyed it so that their beloved French would, they hoped, conquer all tongues and the world become one great Francophony.

Lingua Franca came into being during the middle ages as a trade language used by traders, crusaders and various communities around the Mediterranean to negotiate and communicate with each other while conducting business. Sometime in the nineteenth century the language completely disappeared with nary a trace, at the exact same time that the French language ascended as the preferred tongue of the erudite. Speakers of French sneered at Lingua Franca for being too easy - a language of simpletons, much as they treat the English language of today. Until the French stealthily massacred Lingua Franca, it served as a highly efficient means of communication, a kind of pidgin language with a limited vocabulary and simple grammar. It lacked endless verb tenses and inflected case endings, which left the French speakers in a highly distressed state of anxiety when they were forced to listen its spoken words. It never evolved into a written language, mainly so as not to enflame French sensibilities even more. Nevertheless, Lingua Franca was just too easy to learn and to understand, so it had to be destroyed to make way for the much more evolved, yet barely comprehensible French language.

Now that English has become the Lingua Franca of the world’s business community, the French, under the glorious leadership of Jacques Chirac, have once again engaged themselves in the Battle of the Linguas. Although they are doomed to lose, they fight on, for as the world knows well, the French never give up the fight when it is civilized and bloodless.

Chirac vows to fight growing use of English:
Jacques Chirac pledged yesterday to fight the spread of the English language across the world as he defended his decision to walk out of an EU summit after a French business leader abandoned his mother tongue.

“We fight for our language,” President Chirac said of the French walkout on Thursday when Ernest-Antoine Seillière, the French head of the European employers’ group Unice, addressed the summit in “the language of business”.

Mr Chirac added: “I was profoundly shocked to see a Frenchman express himself in English at the table.”

Francophones forever - fight on, fight on for the “égalité, complémentarité, and solidarité”. Man the barricades for La Francophony and all the glory be to the great leader, Jacques Chirac.

He was so SHOCKED, SHOCKED to hear another Frenchman speaking the disgusting foreign tongue of English, that he had to leave the room. If only President Jacques Chirac could be as shocked to hear himself use his own forked French tongue to lash out at leaders of non-Francophone lands, perhaps he would leave the world stage - for once and for all!

“The Hindu”, Brussels: French President Jacques Chirac led a French walkout from the opening session of the E.U.’s annual spring summit on Thursday night when a fellow Frenchman committed the grave offence of speaking English.

Highlighting France’s acute sensitivity towards the decline of the language which once dominated the E.U., Mr. Chirac led three Senior Ministers out of the talks when Ernest-Antoine Seilliere, French head of the European employers’ group Unice, abandoned his mother tongue on the ground that English is “the language of business.'’

Mr. Chirac quickly packed up his paper airplanes and spitballs and ceremoniously fled the chamber, dragging both his Foreign Minister and Finance Minister by the scruffs of their still intact necks. Gallic pride was soon restored when the Chiracistas finally found a French businessman who had never learned English, nor any other foul and foreign tongue, and they commanded this particular ignoramus to address the meeting in pure and unadulterated French or face the guillotine. At the restoration of his most favored lingo, Mr. Chirac haughtily returned, accompanied by his lackey Ministers.

The meeting had been between France and Germany who are at loggerheads over the economic future of Europe, and no English speaking states were present. Besides, the British who do not consider themselves to be European, could not care less about the economic future of Europe. Recollecting that the Germans and French used to constantly fight, with the Germans always victorious, it was believed that English would be a more neutral and less offensive language in which to communicate. Everyone would be able to understand each other, because, after all, everyone understands English. However, the French saw communication as a one way street - if one is not a Francophone, one has nothing of value to communicate. It came to pass, because few other than the French could really understand what was being said, that the infamous French Prime Minister, Dominique de Villepin, pledged to support “economic patriotism” and named eleven French business sectors which would henceforth and forevermore be protected from any foreign bidders who speak with foreign tongues.

French is NOT the Lingua Franca - English is!

Dymphna at “Gates of Vienna” reports that in response to Chirac, other European leaders shrugged off his attempt to defend French pride. Luxembourg’s Prime Minister Jean-Claude Juncker, a staunch Francophile, said “Europe has other worries and it’s a waste of time to have responded to such questions“.

Laura and the Bonnie British Prince - What do you suppose is going on? It looks like a Zombie Jamboree at the White House.

Disabled Woman Set Ablaze - A handicapped woman was doused with petrol and set on fire by youths during another night of rioting in Paris. The 56-year-old suffered third degree burns to 20% of her body in the attack. Witnesses said a youth poured petrol over the woman and then threw a Molotov cocktail on to the bus she was travelling on in the suburb of Sevran.

Can it really be true? Cherie Blair and George Galloway - two British birds of a feather? The press is reporting that just as George Galloway uses the supposedly do-gooderness of charity work to conceal his ill-gotten gains, Cherie uses charity work as a means of enhancing her legally-gotten gains.

According to Sky News Tony Blair’s wife, Cherie, earned £100,000 for her recent speaking engagements during a trip to Australia. Because of her modus operandi, she is now being accused of “sullying” the office of the Prime Minister. Mrs Blair was guest speaker at an event in Melbourne to raise funds for the Children’s Cancer Institute Australia for Medical Research (CCIA). The charity ended up with only 8% of the £81,000 for cancer research, after nearly £75,000 was used to pay for the dinner and guest speakers. The fundraising dinner at which she spoke is now being investigated by Australian authorities, as local rules stipulate that a charity must receive no less than 60% of funds raised in an appeal on its behalf.

Islamists Demand that England Find a New Flag and a New Patron Saint.

Does this sound familiar at all: Ban on the Banner of Saint George? Americans all know that the “Southern Cross,” an ensign representing the cross of Saint Andrew, is offensive to some, but now comes word that the “Red Cross” is offensive to others.

To Americans, this kerfuffle sounds very much like our own controversy over the Confederate Battle Flag or the “Southern Cross.” The “Southern Cross” was one of many battle flags used by Southerners during the War Between the States, but it was never the national flag of the Confederacy, as some have mistakenly assumed. The “Southern Cross” was the cross of Saint Andrew, the apostle of Jesus who was crucified on an X-shaped cross. Said cross reflected the Scottish ancestry of many of the Southern soldiers, as Saint Andrew was the patron saint of Scotland. As the cross of Saint Andrew with stars added representing the Southern states, was very distinctive and not likely to be mistaken for the Union’s Stars and Stripes during battle, it became the most popular of all the battle flags of the Confederate States Army. After the war, the “Southern Cross” became a symbol of pride to the vanquished veterans and their families and it was displayed to honor the men who had fought “The Lost Cause” for their native states. As years passed by, the true history and heritage of the flag was forgotten and many Americans came to believe that it represented the national flag of the Confederacy.

The banner of the martyred Saint George, a red cross on a white background, also had its beginnings as a battle flag - for English Crusaders during the middle ages. It later became the national flag of England.

Recently in Great Britain, Chris Doyle, director of the Council for the Advancement of Arab-British Understanding, said that the red cross was an insensitive reminder of the Crusades. “A lot of Muslims and Arabs view the Crusades as a bloody episode in our history. They see those campaigns as Christendom launching a brutal holy war against Islam.” Doyle said that the time has now arrived for England to find a new flag and a new patron saint “not associated with our bloody past and one we can all identify with.”

And what’s to become of the British Union Jack? That ensign contains three crosses representing three Christian saints. When the British remove the offending red cross, the cross of Saint George, does anyone truly believe that will be sufficient? Certainly, someone, somewhere, will claim something offensive about the white diagonal cross of Saint Andrew and/or the red diagonal cross of Saint Patrick. Multi-culturalism means that the majority must give up its ancient heritage, religion, symbols and history, bequeathed to it by the blood of martyrs and patriots, so that the minority be not offended.

We could, if we were brave enough, just say, up with the flag! Raise it high! And DOWN with multi-culturalism.

According to the Pirate’s Cove, “People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals” (PETA) rallied in front of the Australian embassy recently in an attempt to force Australian sheep farmers to stop a controversial farming practice. THIS is going to stop them? The Pirate pokes fun at their cellulite and tells the “PETA wackjobs” that they need to exercise more and eat a balanced diet. I wouldn’t mind looking as “out of shape” as the so-called PETA wackjobs! I suspect that PETA hired models for the job, eh?